Stagnation

I have done nothing this weekend. In fact I haven't left the house since Friday when I took Little dog out in the evening. This week has taken it's toll on me and left me somewhat drained. I just didn't have the energy to contemplate doing anything very much at all.

I intended to go out and get some supplies yesterday, little bits I am lacking for creative projects... I wanted some green and brown embroidery silks, one of those rotary cutters which really help with cutting out fabric, some cotton for my baby blanket to be, (I started cutting but straightness was an issue....) as well as the odd other bit. But I didn't. I needed some more postcards for my postcrossing addiction as well... Oh well... Don't suppose I would get much of that doen this week anyway... i have other things I can do...

If I won the lottery, I would build a house that was open to the land. My granite terrace so often feels cut off from outside - necessary for maintaining privacy when you open onto the road. I would also hire a tai chi instructor to turn up at my house each morning until I could do the forms alone. I really need something to get my energy flowing properly.... That is how I feel this weekend - stagnant. In oh so many ways.....

I made jewelery today but it was only completing previously thought up designs. I have had no creative urges. I have a half formed scarf design in my head but no impetus to put it on paper and work it out.

I took all weekend to print of the application form for care work and I have only filled in half. It is a terrifyingly large step. A completely different type of work for me, one I have never, ever done and wouldn't have considered before.

My house is still a mess and I had plans along those lines as well....

Another odd thing is that although my e-life has saved me in so many ways, sometimes it holds me back to. Yesterday I was online all day and really accomplished very little that I wouldn't normally accomplish in two much shorter sessions on a working day. Well apart from reading blogs from start to finish for thinking up interview questions....

I need to be strict with myself with my e-life. As much as it helps me, it can also be a comfort blanket and keep me from doing things too.... Under my comfort blanket i can stagnant without ever realising.... I think it is time to move on, not away from all the things in my e-life, but to try and alter how my life fits together a little....