The Me That Writes

I thought this might be an interesting post to write.... There are so many different me's. I am a chameleon. I am a Libran.

My two main sides are polar opposites. Gemini's have this to but I think for them it is more extreme perhaps (or at least the ex of mine that was a Gemini certainly was...). Librans can also find the balance in the middle, at least sometimes.

The me that most people meet is reserved, analytical, logical, well spoken, controled, respectable, conformist and a little posh (according to some people *glares at F*). It takes a little bit for me to relax and let most people see the other me. Some people never get near it. F only saw the other me to begin with and didn't quite believe that logical woman really existed....

The other me is empathic, fragile, outgoing, creative, instinctual, emotional, a tom boy, inelegant and common as muck. Training has hidden her a little. My logical self also protects her and takes control somewhat. Alcohol lets her out and for a long time in my twenties it felt as if this was the only way I could let the other side of me out to play.

These days I feel that the faces I show the world are a bit better balanced. People don't necessarily think reserved, analytical and respectable the first second they meet me at least. I still have some way to go but I feel better able to make the talents of each of my sides work for me much more.

And no, I am not schizophrenic and neither do I have a multiple personality disorder... My different faces are metaphors I guess...

I have discovered, by writing this blog, that my creative self comes out to play when I write. I may have no idea what I am going to write but when I sit down with my laptop, something always appears. Sometimes those posts that appear from nowhere please me. The post from last night pleased me.

My analytical self also values blogging. It doesn't always get a good handle on the emotional side of things and by allowing myself to write, those feelings appear in a way my analytical self can get hold of and use. Writing helps me figure stuff out. Of course sometimes I write direct from my analytical side to, and I write nice facty pieces which I learn a lot from doing the research.

Writing is so far, the only process I have found that really brings out all of my personality and allows it to shine, together, complete. It also brings all of me into the outside world... My doing this in my blog, it helps me understand much more about how I actually am. I think it is helping me balance myself better in how I am out in the real world too...