Friday, 5 June 2009


I know I rarely talk about men on here but that is because I have F and other men don't impinge on my world in a man-like way if you know what I mean. Now the stuff I am writing here isn't stuff I have told F, not because I don't want him to know but because in making a point of telling him, it gives extra power. If he reads it on here, which he could, then he will know it is no secret and there is nothing in any of it... Tomorrow most of these things won't be important and the ones that are he will know.

One of my colleagues yesterday, decided to get me to look something up on the computer for them - nothing unusual. Except he decided to rest his arm on my desk alongside my arm, touching mine. Bit odd really. Not bothered by it. Just bemused. he knows I am not the unfaithful sort and to be fair I don't think he would respect me if I was....

An old friend I knew at the time I first met F and have gotten back in contact via Facebook... *sigh* He had a girlfriend back home when I knew him and one night he made a fairly determined play for me. Turns out, although I turned him down, that not all my friends did. Unfaithfulness seems to work for some people.... Also seems I was the one he wanted most and wanted first, maybe because I said no, even though I was single, because as well as not being the unfaithful sort, I am not one to want to cause others to be unfaithful either.

Thirdly, via facebook, I got back in contact with my most significant Ex. He helped me through some tough times but we eventually grew apart and parted amicably enough and even remained in contact for a while. I will tell F about this but given F is in contact with his first love via facebook, I don't see an issue. I mostly just want to know my ex is happy and his family are happy.

Now this one I shall tell F, definitely... Not today for today will be too busy and I want this to be special. I had a dream last night. There was a Goddess maze built of earth banks and rock, all overgrown. In the middle of the maze was a rock walled depression filled with ferns and a small spring-fed pool. F and I were there having a small private handfasting ceremony with only one or two others present. In the dream, I knew we were going to have another big official wedding. I also knew this maze was in the area around Land's End known as Penwith and that I had built it.

How perfect is that?


  1. Only the MOST PERFECT thing I could ever imagine!!!!! What a lovely idea.....your own ceremony and then one for everyone else...*sigh*....divine....

    I think there are some men (and women) who simply desire the unattainable. They are attracted to the bright light that emanates from someone who has found their soulmate and would like it for themselves...who wouldn't, really? They just haven't learned that its something they must find for themselves...

    Both B and I are 'in contact' with our respective ex-spouses (our 'starter' marriages:). For him, forgiveness was more difficult because she was rather a nasty individual at the time and did some very hurtful things...for me, it was easier, I bore him no ill-feeling (after I'd watched about a thousand episodes of Oprah) and we are now at a place where we each wish each other well with our new lives.

    I don't know where it's written that we need to be at odds with our former loves.....the energy would be better spent in healing the wounds and moving forward happily....IMHO...


    PS I'm going to win the lottery so I can come to both your weddings....*grin*

  2. your dream sounds absolutely perfect :)

    I have many friends who are firm about not talking to ex's or having friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship- I think it's a little silly. Andrew and I trust each other completely, I still talk to a few of my ex's and he talks to some of his.
    I think it comes down to trust. So essential. And it sounds like you and F have that :)

  3. What a beautiful dream, I hope it comes true. It is really special to hear that there are couples who respect each other and won't cheat on each other, there will always be temptations in all areas of our lives, that does mean we have to take what is being offered. Love and happiness to you and F

  4. Lovely post, just to let you know Rose, I done the interview! Thank you so much for taking the time to go through my blog and selecting the insightful questions, i forgot half the stuff i had written!

  5. Ta Mel - if I win the lottery, you shall be coming too... I agree that there is no need to be at odd with ex's, in fact if things go that way it is a shame, because it means all the good things that were have been lost...

    Ms Yogini! I agree but I guess for those who find jealousy / trust an issue, not having contact would be easier. I don't talk to many ex's (because, of course, there are hundreds) because I have no idea where they are...

    Lovely Leone - I so want the dream to come true as well.... I think others have been previously tempted, not sure about now, but I most certainly am not tempted. I want to be 80 sat next to F on my rocker watching the sun set. You don't get that by chopping and changing....

    Claire - lovely interview! I can so imagine your embarassment with the child's comment, eek! Really good fun, thank you.

  6. Love the Goddess maze, Rose. Let me know when it's ready! I'd love to drive down and see it, or be there?? Wow!

    Hope you have a chilled out weekend. Be peaceful and kind to yourself.

    Have you checked out The Next Chapter yet?

    Oh, and I thought I'd try to look you up on Facebook ~ not that I'm on there much, but it would be nice to have friends that I'm really interested in rather than the old people from my former life who don't really know me anymore. Look me up if you're on there. I think I'm listed as Samantha J Brightwell (can you believe I have a scottish double).

    Bright Blessings.

  7. My book hasn't come! I am so desperate to start playing but it hasn't even been despatched yet.... If I ever get me a Goddess maze of course you would be welcome!

  8. oh and there arn't hundreds....