Tuesday, 23 June 2009

The Gift

A couple of things came together today....

I had a conversation with a colleague which all started with a discussion about how an ex-colleague had once had a spookily accurate reading by a medium. My colleagues do not know of my leanings. The word witch has come up at work a few times but always in connection with an unpleasant female person. Such stereotypes and religious hatred! *laugh*

Anyway. We talked about people we had known who had a gift. The person who could pop discs back in using the power of their mind without even touching them. The psychic who gave the reading to the ex-colleague. The 'not all there' person on the bus who suddenly 'cleared' and asked me why I had been washing my hands so much (I had been cleaning that day).

One person had told my colleague about how the gift had been passed to them by their Grandfather. I asked my colleague if they had a gift and they said no. For some reason I pushed it and they admitted to something quite unexpected. They have a gift, an unusual and subtle gift but still a gift.

The book I started today features a chap with a gift, he is a shapechanger, specifically a werewolf. It is clear that he is torn between his two natures. People see the wolf and wolves see the human so that he fits nowhere. Those that should love him have spurned him and tried to kill him. But still he sees it as a gift and is unable to forgo one half of himself. It is a lovely Charles de Lint book called Wolf Moon....

Back to my conversation. Part of me is convinced I have an undiscovered gift. Another part is convinced I am not special enough to have a gift. Another part wouldn't want the pressure that could come with having a gift. Part of me desperately wants a gift. What if I do have a gift but in my desire to be more, I am overlooking something?

Maybe I don't pay enough credence to some small thing that happens. Maybe I havn't let go enough. Maybe I havn't practiced the right things. Maybe I havn't grown into it yet. Maybe I just don't have a psychic ability.

Ability... Maybe I have a special purpose? I think we all do. It could be something so small seeming to us, maybe to invent a toy that some child uses to beat off an attacker so that they can grow up and do.... A whole chain of nested purposes that we may never know and never understand, not while alive anyway.

I have hunted for a vocation and nowhere int he rat race have I found one. I don't know where else to look for it. So I am not. Not right now. I just have a job. It passes time. It also gives me money.

So no gift and no purpose, not that I know. Is it wrong to want to be special? Is it wrong to want to have meaning?

I would love to hear about the gifts and purposes others have... I would also love to hear if any of you psychics have any idea what mine might be....


  1. I felt like I was writing your blog! I have a family blessed with sight and it comes when you least expect it or want it! I think the less special we view ourselves, the more special the creator/universe sees us. Keep your eyes open to the tiniest thing and listen to that voice only you can hear! This will be a subject on my blog in the near future,(thank you) I too pass time with work and must go back to the grind. Till this evening...Misty

  2. ok, here are my thoughts: I believe that we ALL have 'gifts', each and every one of us...some of us are more intune with those gifts than others.. some of us may have them deeply buried, while others may have had those gifts either ridiculed or shunned when we were little.. maybe our parents were fearful of those gifts.. others may have been encouraged as children to develop those gifts, to accept them.
    I know as a child that I saw faeries.. and other things but was always told to get my head out of the clouds, so I shut down.. now I have doubt.. and it is something I am working on.. those "tregilgas' ways that I spoke of before, I am sure were second sight.
    on my blog a few posts ago, I wrote of the doubt and the wondering of why I would be anymore special than the next person..
    I was the same as you a few years ago.. wondering, wishing ... now, I just try to accept what happens.. if the 'gift' comes it does, if not, then it is not meant to... I don't want a parlour game gift.. I want a deep spiritual gift so that I can go forward on my spiritual journey..
    blessings to you dear Rose xo
    (if you ever wish to email me, please do.. email address is connected to my profile)

  3. Each one of us has a purpose, though it may not be wrapped in anything extraordinary or "special". There is a longing in all of us to make a difference in our world and to be able to perform some special task that leaves its mark. None of us wants to be in visable. Look to the things that you love more than anything else in the world. It could be a passion for plants, cooking or mystery. Your higher self, the one who is directing the little Avatar that is you, knows the answer. Set a side some time each day to listen to the inner voice who has your best interest at heart. There is your answer.

  4. what a fun post :)
    I don't feel blessed with "sight", but I do feel a spiritual connection with the spiritual... and I know I am sensitive to others and their energy. I often easily become tense, upset, happy etc depending on who's around.
    I once went to a psychic here, and she was so sweet and wonderful (and expensive!). It was a positive experience, lots of insightful (almost uncanny- not the usual stuff) and she really made me feel special. She knew I have bells-chimes, that I have a hard time sleeping at nights, that i'm sensitive, that I had a little beagle as a child who passed and that I read tarot.
    she encouraged me to continue to listen to my spirit guides- that they were there and happy with me :)

  5. I think we all want to be special in some way. Me? I'm a jack-of-all-trades, master of none...which is likely why I flit about hither and thither....or perhaps its because I flit about hither and thither....


    soul sisters indeed...


    PS I think you're pretty special....:) ((hugs))

  6. Rose,
    Sometimes it isn't even a voice it's a feeling or something you see in your mind and it keeps popping up!
    Here are two of my experience's that stand out in my memory...My husband and I were on our way home from working late. All the way home I felt (for lack of a better word) that the devil was in the back seat and if we slowed down he'd catch us. I told my husband this. Of course his reaction was, "You're crazy!" I said, maybe I was but, "speed it up we have to get home!" When we reached home I went straight to the phone. My daughter who is 36 now, was 10 yrs. old then and with my mother in Phoenix for the weekend. No one had cell phones then...I knew I had to call my Mom, she answered the phone and said my daughter had just ran through the sliding, plate glass window in the kitchen! I knew it, I had to get home and call. She was cut badly but thank goodness she's beautiful and 36 years old today! It WAS a feeling!
    Another time, it was Dec. my mother moved to Tucson and I was driving out to where she lived. It was 10 in the evening. There's a long, boring way to drive there, then there is Gates Pass, which takes you through Sagauro National Park and the mountain pass, near Old Tucson (The movie set in the tucson mountains). The homes up there are expensive and have beautiful Christmas lights and also I was in a jeep and I enjoyed the curvy road.
    I'm driving along and suddenly I have a picture in my mind's eye of a man laying in the road! I see(in my mind) my headlights comming up on this man in the road. Then I thought "HE'S NOT HURT!" Now why would he be in the road if he's not hurt? Because I asked myself that question, the answers were... he wants me to stop for him. Maybe I'll stop and someone will hurt me?
    The voice kept saying "HE'S NOT HURT!" Almost a scream in my head. So instead of going that way... I turned around and took the long way! I got to my mother's without incident! It was so strong it could have been a warning that someone was going to cause me harm, or maybe my breaks would fail on the road but when I knew the person in the road was NOT HURT, I knew I had to change my course, it was a direct warning to me! I can't prove anything would have happened had I stayed on my original path...all I know is I got to my destination safe!
    The more you follow the voice and or feelings the stronger they will get, and the more the more you will trust yourself.
    I'm sorry I didn't mean to write so much!

  7. Hi Rose xo! ~ do I ever see faeries? no, not like I did when I was a child.. maybe I have lost that innocence... but I do feel them with me when I garden. I have taken photos of plants and lots of times there is an orb around the plant, especially those mushroom faery rings.. once I took a photo and there was an amazing haze around the whole ring..
    I have read the other comments and you have received alot of wonderful advice here..
    lately, I have started to realize that I do have my ancestors around me.. I don't 'see' them, but I feel them with me.. and sometimes I see them when I meditate.

  8. Rose, Thank you for the tip, I wonder what makes it do that. God helps us all if it helps me type better, I do tend to ramble! My father was born in Leeds, where is that in relation to Cornwall? Have you ever read "the Hermitage" blog? She writes beautifully and they (she and her husband) are wandering in your neighborhood! I really find her blog fun to read...but I've always wanted a gypsy wagon! Have a great day...Misty

  9. The "he's not hurt" comment gave me the shivers. Powerful.

    I have the gift, and am so very grateful for it.

    Writing is part of your purpose.