Saturday, 10 October 2009

TAW Week 7

Time to step on a week but first I want to make a short review as this is the halfway point in my slow meander through this book...

Since starting this book my life has altered. It has stepped forward and I have learnt things. I don't think I would have learnt quite the same things, or as quickly if I hadn't been following this book. While I am not to hot on my artist's dates, I have had a few and will continue to do them. I don't really do the morning pages but I have come to see that this blog performs much of the same function. Not always as clearly but it does do it.

Each week has exercises and activities and my reaction to these is varied. Week Five was interesting. Looking back on the things I wrote is always interesting too. I have bought a warm winter coat - not waterproof but nice, warm, stylish and it fits. There is even room because of the style to wear extra things underneath. I wished to never feel cold, to have a faster metabolism and better circulation. And what do you know? *grin* I also know that one wish is going to be fulfilled soon by a rather lovely friend. I am contemplating making stars to hang from my ceiling above my creative table tomorrow. I am more joyful and more happy now I feel I have a bit more energy. My bed is warm and snuggly and that little bit of weight seems to have made a difference to how I sleep in it. I am not so uncomfortable so maybe I don't need a new mattress. So of my 16 wishes, 6 have come true in some way and 2 are in progress. Leaving 8 unfulfilled. So far. I have the rest of my life....

Maybe this was the lesson of Week 6. I didn't like week 6. There wasn't enough writing. There was too much stuff I didn't want to do. Why would I want to pick up yet more stones to go in my house? I have so many bits picked up on walks... Instead I got the raw materials for a wand and staff. I have cleared my wardrobes and put lots of things in bags to go although they havn't gone very far yet. I don't bake but I do cook and I made a whole pot full of root veg soup spiced with pepper, fennel seed and smoked paprika. So things have happened but they are harder to quantify than written exercises....

So here we are at week 7.

Jealousy and perfectionism....

Jealousy Map

F has more money than me help him spend it (*laugh* I hope he reads this!)
F enjoys his job more than I do mine get better at enjoying mine, learn to stress a little less.
LP everyone likes her even though she is vapid and not of much use appreciate my own worth more and understand that much of it is about youth and beauty in a place full of men (most old enough to be her Dad)
Sister For living closer to our parents make them all move down here

OK. I am finding it hard to do this one seriously. I am not someone who feels jealousy very strongly. I might desire things for myself but I don't tend to desire the taking away of them from others and this is what jealousy is. I want it so you can't have it, not I want it as well.

As a kid, I missed the chance to play sports. (I suffered from rheumatism due to my knee joints getting cold while wearing stupid gym skirts in all weathers. If they had let me keep my knees warm by wearing tracksuit bottoms then all would have been much better)
As a kid, I lacked support. ( I was a little misunderstood, tomboy geek in a girls school)
As a kid, I could have used a friend.
As a kid, I dreamed of being a Vet.
As a kid, I wanted a horse.
In my house, we never had enough books. ( There was loads, but you can never, ever have enough)
As a kid, I needed more fun.
I am sorry that I will never again see *** (a friend of my parents who died of breast cancer when I was 16. I loved her and her husband. He becmae a different person without her and we lost him to)
For years, I have missed and wondered about my Grandfathers (both dead before my parents even met)
I beat myself up about the loss of my virginity (*blush* do I?)
I have a loyal friend in F.
One thing I like about my town is all the beautiful, solid granite.
I think I have nice friends.
Writing my morning pages has shown me that I can deal with any ghosts from my past.
I am taking a greater interest in losing weight.
I believe I am getting better at being happy.
My artist has started to pay more attention to light.
My self-care is a lovely long bath with a beautiful bath product and a good book.
I feel more energetic.
Possibly my creativity is a little tired. (It has had a bit of blossoming and it had to pause for a little bit to take breath but it is there waiting...)

Again the exercises are a bit on the doing side rather than writing but they appeal a bit more than last weeks. I like this week better. I love the idea of buying a lovely pair of socks. Handknitted in a lovely colour, maybe lots of colours. With no elastic at the top to make nasty marks when my legs swell. A pair of socks to keep my feet warm in my boots this winter. A pair of socks to slouch around the house in....

I can do the smell.... I can go to a sacred space and breath in the solitude and sounds..... I can write out 'Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong' and make it all pretty.... I certainly managed to wear my lovely new (and slightly expensive) troll bracelet round the house today. Did I mention how close I came to not 'wasting' money on it? But my folks gave me some cash to buys omething nice for my birthday and the extra I put towards it didn't take so much courage.... I can listen to music and doodle....

So all good really....


  1. What an amazing commentary, you are really doing a thorough job of the Artist's Way and benefiting enormously from it. I so admire your courage.

  2. Tou are having quite the journey Rose. Be well.