Thursday, 22 October 2009

Finding The Path

It is often hard to find the right path in life. My path has taken me all over the place. Highs and Lows. The reasons for some of my twists and turns are not obvious. I think my path has been a little more twisty than some but not as turny as others. Finding the right path in life is tricky sometimes. Synchronicity plays a huge part as does fate and chance and luck.

I have sometimes felt that happiness of knowing I am on the right path and at others I have felt in a holding pattern. Right now I am in a holding pattern. Not sure why I am where I am. What it is I am supposed to gain or do here, wondering how long I am supposed to be here. I have some sort of feeling that it may not be much longer, or is that just a misguided hope?

I thought you might like to read of some of the twists and turns....

  • All girls Christian school. youngest in year. misfit tomboy and geek.
  • Sixth Form College. Cool goth chick. Had a ball. Physics, Design and Tech, Maths and Electronics. I had an opportunity to do a City and Guilds in AutoCAD, said yes and loved it.
  • Left home for gap year. Worked for a utility company at a prestigious site. Not the right place for me but discovered I was good at technical drawing. Think I was underappreciated because I won a prize for my project... Got hooked up with unpleasant man at work and the ripples of him spread throughout my life.
  • Summer traveling and visiting friends and partying. Turned down lucrative contract work in order to get away from nasty ex. Visited Ireland.
  • Uni in the city. Became very ill and slowly fell apart during the course of the year. Was studying Physics but found it somewhat detached from real life at that level. Asked Mum what she could see me doing and she said something environmental.
  • Dropped out due to glandular fever. Dark unhappy time full of sleep.
  • Joined a company as a trainee engineer doing lots of CAD. Left because I fell apart.
  • Darkest time of all dark times.
  • Returned to city and started temping. It allowed to me to work till I was too tired then quit, take a couple of weeks off then start something else. Learnt lots and met some interesting characters.
  • Split with boyfriend. Parents pointed out that I didn't have to stay in the city and could go anywhere I liked.
  • Synchronicity took me to Cornwall. Big move so not suprisingly synchronicity and fate really got shouting.
  • Worked on several contracts for my Uni following a chance comment from another student.
  • Met the wonderful F.
  • Did a few environmental contracts after graduating. Missed out on a supervisors job and eventually had to give up and go back to temping.
  • Temped and ended up somewhere working with teachers.
  • Tried to get in with Environment Agency. Got put in a staff bank and stayed there. Went for a temp job with them. Got tangled up in an unpleasant scenario and left.
  • Did some temp work for an organisation involved with teachers.
  • Decided to apply for teaching. Got put on waiting list.
  • Worked for a public body as a temp. They were about to keep me when teacher training announced I could start in a weeks time.
  • Started teacher training and loved the feeling of going back to school. Of studying the whole curriculum, not just the sciences. Loved art and craft. It opened some doors in my life.
  • Failed final practice and had to accept I didn't have the right personality to be a teacher in the current climate.
  • Went back to temping and got guided away from things to do with children and care and ended up where I am now...

So I have spent time in sciences, focusing on environmental science. I have worked with children and developed a love of art and craft. Fate took me towards working with children and then away again. Where is it going to take me next? Why have I worked for so many companies on so many things? Why is this my path?


  1. Oh Rose, if only I knew,,,I ask myself this all the time. Maybe we will find the path or maybe we are on it right now...sorry I am no help at all. Take care and I wish you wellness.

  2. *sigh*

    you certainly have done some very interesting things...



  3. I wonder if all these things happened because they weren't your path. Feel it in your heart.*hugs*

  4. Thank you.

    I think I have just had a windy twisty path. i have learnt how to walk into a job and hit the ground running. I have a very wide skill set in terms of officey things. I have found the change interesting and I have learnt things wherever I have been. I wish I could put more detail of some of the individual jobs up but that just allows to much identification, particularly with the range I have had.

    I went where the wind blew but it hasn't been blowing me on the last few months, it has been telling me to wait.

  5. i echo leone here~i spent many years working in social work and was always convinced it was my 'work' path. it was only when i was diagnosed with m.e and unable to work that i was lucky enough to re-think my path and be able to (with a constant struggle!) to start my OU degree in history. for some reason it feels connected to my spiritual path and feels right to me.
    i am sure you wait will produce fruit :)