Saturday, 3 January 2009

The Void

I feel as if I have achieved nothing today. I didn't sleep in particularly late, so I have had lots of time to achieve things, but I haven't... Or if I have they are not big enough to take my mind of the things lurking in the back of my mind.

So what could be bothering me? I think the nightmare last night could be a clue. I was in a room, I had to wear certain clothes, I had to be there whether I wanted to or not and nobody talked to me. I was in an office. I think my head is trying to tell me that although I have never wanted to do admin, my entire being is sick of it.

I am also facing having to spend a fair bit of time by myself as F is going back to work tomorrow and I really don't want him to.

Hmmm maybe the fact that I feel tender is a clue to *sigh*. Why do we women get set in a spin every few weeks? Why is it when we are coping with all the strange things, the uncertainty with a smile on our faces, that they have to come along and pull everything up and spin it around like a whirling dervish? Why is it that nothing needs to have actually changed but one moment you are smiling and laughing about it all and another, sometime later, you want to cry?

And I consider myself lucky that it only lasts a day at most...

So why does this happen to women? Maybe it is because women squish things up and behave politely and try not to get angry and generally squish things down. Maybe it is the moons way of making sure we truly face our feelings once a month. I know that at this time my body starts detoxing, so why not my head to? Maybe if I can learn to live in a state of zen like bliss, I won't have to suffer PMT... *laugh*

And of course all outbursts by women with PMT should be treated as strange abberations and never be referred to ever, ever again.

Late addition: Mel recommended this article and I recommend it to any women out there.

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