Friday, 9 January 2009


When I got home today, I looked at my blog and thought what on earth am I going to write about tonight? I had no idea. Nothing exciting has happened today. I moved stock. Adjusted numbers. I got to see the sky as I drove in and as I drove home and also for a little while at lunch. I came home brain dead, feeling sucked dry by my hormones, readjustment to keeping sensible working hours and from work in general.

As I lay in the bath after eating, I thought about today and my life as it is right now. There is only one way to describe it. Fallow. I like this word, it is a word without pressure, it is a word suggesting positive waiting for an indefinite amount of time as the seasons change around you. It is the tarot card I picked out yesterday morning for the day. I didn't have time to pick one this morning but I suspect nothing very much has changed...

So is my current life so dreadful? No, it isn't. I am tucked away with a nice group of people who I am coming to like and respect. I am safe from the politics as that is something that is at it's strongest in the posh offices and its ripples wash out onto the shop floor. I am a long way from these ripples and my colleagues watch with amusement as self-important people with manager in their titles throw stones at each other.

I get to sit at my desk and have a chat with those around as I work, if I want to. I can wander off to get a drink etc whenever I want with no pressure. I don't have to take my work home with me and can leave on the dot. Occasionally I get to do other jobs to give a little variety. In other offices these might be minuting a meeting and getting to eat fattening food and drink coffee. Here this might consist of wandering round picking out stock samples, something i did for a couple of hours today.

Is this good for me? Definitely. I have been burnt by politics in some offices. Sedentary tasks have added to my weight but here I have the opportunity to not sit all day and to mooch at my own pace. I am getting paid, not enough for holidaying in the Bahamas but enough to live on. It is also just enough that I am comfortable but not so much I won't give my finances a good close look. This job represents a 20% reduction in my normal rate of pay.

So what is bad... I miss having all the time in the world to email and keep up with all the wonderful blogs I have found. I miss having the time to search out exciting new things on the internet. I miss having time to go and be with nature. I miss having time to think about being creative. Maybe part of that is because in terms of fallowness, I am extra fallow right now. Maybe in a couple of days my energy levels will rise a little and I will feel as if I have a little more time for myself between sleep and work.

One thing occured to me in the bath... Why should I have to think about what to write all the time? Maybe I can make other people do a little of the thinking for me.... So, do you have a question or maybe a subject you would like me to develop an opinion on? Suggestions on a stamped, non-addressed blog comment please... Time wasters need to apply. Positivity only...


  1. I am feeling about the same way as you are when it comes to the lack of time to do things YOU want to do. I have a 10 month old VERY needy baby, so I'm sure you understand.
    As for idea's on what to post about...I would really like to hear what inspired you about your beliefs. I read a book on Wicca once, and was fascinated, but always lacked the time to make any sort of devotion.
    Happy Blogging!

  2. If I wasn't so brain-dead myself at the moment, I might have a suggestion...:) I'm glad that you're embracing your fallowness...especially right now - its a good're right, its a lovely word.