I have been struggling a little, trying to get hold of this concept of deity. I can't seem to relate to a particular God or Goddess. I like the idea of neolithic Mother figures having no details on their faces. The figure I made has no details on her face and I am comfortable with that. Many people with similar beliefs to me choose a God or Goddess which they are drawn to. I find this idea difficult...
I have come to realise that this isn't a problem, it is all to do with how I believe things to be. My real, core belief. The one I had perhaps mislaid a little...
I believe that everything contains a spark of spirit. I believe these sparks together mount up to an incredible spirit, that is the spirit of our planet, that some might call Gaia amongst other names. I believe that this spirit is nature and you can see it most strongly when looking out on the world. To look on the beauty of the world is to worship for me.
This spirit is both good and bad, male and female. It is everything all in one and may have contradictions inherent in it. I believe that all the Gods and Goddesses ever worshipped are aspects of this spirit. My truth is not the truth of others but for me, to look for a personal deity feels wrong at this time, it is not at the root of my faith.
I was talking to F in a car park yesterday before we went into a shop. I asked him how he felt about the changes I have made to my life recently, my return to my spirituality in particular. F is a doer rather than a thinker but he has the almighty power to surprise me. F was of the opinion that my change in attitude and picking up of my life had taken me closer to his outlook on life. I guess I have to agree with him there.
He continued by explaining how when we visited the tate, he really meant it when he said the view from the window was the real art. That nature is the most beautiful thing and the best and how he was glad that I had started us going out for more walks and how much he was enjoying that and how it had made him feel happier.
It seems that my beloved was able to just see that we were the same, but sometimes we happen to use different words for things. That I have turned my belief and feelings into a faith I try and use to better myself while he has no need of faith, he just is. It seems that within the heart of my non-spiritual fiance, there actually beats a spiritual nature loving heart. For all my academic ability, I think he is the clever one.
Eleventh Blog Anniversary!
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