I'm in love! With a new man in my life.
His name is Edward and he is gorgeous!
I remember the day oh so well, when I told F I was no longer in love with him. I realised very quickly I had to continue to say what i had to say before the look in his eyes could grow. I explained that I was no longer in that heady emotional state of being in love, which you can so easily fall out of too. My feelings for him had altered into that other love, the one that just is and will always be. He relaxed as he realised that I hadn't meant to say something so offputting to begin with and it was only my normal clumsiness with words.... He understood what I meant.
The new love in my life lives in a book. Well four books really. So far. Oh and a film to. The Twilight books have impinged on me over the last few days in various ways so when I saw them lined up on a shelf with discout stickers attached, I knew I was meant to buy them.
Reading them it is clear that the idea of love being put forward in this book is taht of soul mates. What makes Edward so special is that he is the soul mate many women might consider designing if they could do so while in their teenage years and have him be super-human. He could never be real and even if he could be real, he could never be my soul mate, for I have already found him. i shall however dally with him a little as i read the books and then he shall be gone, as I move on...
One of the pieces of synchronicity that brought these books to me was hearing some poor young chap on the radio have his message read out. The gist of what it said was that his girlfriend had just dumped him saying why can't you be more like Edward. She must have been very young, to believe for an instant that anyone could be as perfect as Edward or that she was perfect enough to have someone like Edward be her soul mate.
Brida by Paulo Coelho, which I have just finished reading, also has much to say on soulmates. According to the book, sometimes when soulmates meet for the first time, there is a flash of light in the eyes that allows them to recognise each other. Apparently you do not need magical training to recognise this, when you meet. It is curious how many people who have one of those sorts of relationships comment on the eyes and that first shared look when they met. Others of course may take longer to recognise what they mean to each other.
F has no pretentions really. He is a bloke and he just is. He doesn't think like I do at all. He doesn't really believe in magic but he has no problem with my description of how I think magic works and accepts this easily but has no interest in it himself. For all my desire to learn i am often reminded how much wiser he is sometimes, just because he is.
I was meeting a female friend, out with her man and his work colleagues. I had never met the colleagues before. As I walked in i saw a man at the bar and our eyes met and there was something. It spooked me and I spent the rest of the evening running away from him, mostly, even though we turned out to be in the same group. Later on in time, I asked him why he had been so persistent. Mostly he replies that he was drunk and had no idea what he was doing. Sometimes he gives a different answer. Sometimes he tells me there was a light in my eyes, a light of life. How he could see this in a dark club when I was running away from him, I have no idea, except of course I do. I know exactly.
I also know I am one lucky lady. The grass will never be greener for me. He knows this too. This means he can happily let me be a little in love with Edward, because I am forever his.
Eleventh Blog Anniversary!
4 months ago