Monday, 27 April 2009


It is another day when I have no fixed idea of what to say. Yesterday was a sofa day and today didn't find me feeling much more lively. I was on a slightly different planet all day. When I got out of the car back home, I saw stars, they were brighter than I have ever seen them before. I am not sure what brings this on exactly but apparently it isn't uncommon....

I don't have any specific symptoms I just feel lethargic. Maybe this is what my cards have been warning me about. Todays card was balance and it isn't the first time I have drawn it. The card a friend drew for me suggested taking time to smell the dirt and connect with mother nature.

Thing is, I am not sure how anyone can work full time hours and have a balanced life. Maybe it is because I need a lot of sleep. At the moment I aim for 9 hours a night with a bit of catch up at the weekend. Maybe those who have a balanced life sleep less, maybe they work less.

In previous generations the men worked and the women stayed at home. Neither had a balanced life but I guess between them it worked. Nowadays with both people in a partnership working, often full time, how is the average person supposed to do everything?

Thing I don't understand is why we work full time. We work and pay taxes so other poor unfortunates who can't find full time work don't starve. Being on the dole is no fun, I was for a while in my very early twenties. If you have the time, you don't have the money, and of course if you have the money, you don't have the time.

Why not spread it around a little? Why not have everyone work part time? Then people would have time to clean and tidy, to exercise, to meditate, to volunteer, to make things, to cook from scratch, to grow things, to have a family, to see friends and family, to learn.... My life isn't balanced by definition and right now, I can't quite understand how anybody really gets to have a balanced life... At least not anyone like me.

Each week I spend...

63 hours asleep
40 hours at work including breaks
That leaves 65 hours a week for everything else.... except it doesn't....

I know women elsewhere in the world and in time have it so much harder, they have to keep on whether they feel like it or not. And thats not fair either because in many cultures the women work hard all the time while the men do an awful lot less....

Balance... I think in order for my life to balance, I have to not so much alter what I put in each side but adjust my setting so that one side is heavier than the other but they still balance. I need to change my attitude or my situation. Because I can't keep sleeping badly and having the sorts of dreams where my place of work has been transformed into a war setting and I can not escape...


  1. I truly don't think working full-time permits balance...I really don't, although I know there are some who would argue that. I suppose it depends on where you place your priorities - personally, *work* is NOT a priority for me - it's a means to an end and one I'm stuck doing for the time being. I'm fortunate that I don't mind my job - although I minded it immensely when I was working at it full-time. I"ve felt closer to being balanced since I reduced my hours and most days I feel like I'm making some sort of progress.

    For me, and I will leap to include you as well, life is meant for more than clocking in and out and getting the pay packet at the end of the week. And it's the struggling to make room for that *more* which makes us so resentful. Working in that sense, is too much like marching to the beat of someone else's drum and I'm fair sick of that particular rhythm...its the giant hamster wheel that society says we *should* be on in order to be valuable assets. Well, sod that, I say. I have other ideas....


  2. I so know this but at the moment my choices are limited.... Maybe in the future a nice door will open!

  3. Rose, I know exactly what you mean!! So nice to read it coming from someone else's mouth instead of mine for a change.
    I don't have the energy right now to really go on at length, as I've been having a day of 'regular' work today ~ which doesn't suit me at all.
    I used to think people thought I was lazy because I didn't want to work full time. But for creative souls, which I think is what we (& Mel) are, you need to be able to design your own life a bit, and find the spaces to think and to breathe and to be. It is not possible to do that, and work full time, and run a home.
    I used to laugh and say to my girlfriends, "I need a housewife" .... but that is how men have managed all these years. Now, as women, if we work full time we have 2 full time roles to fulfil.

    Don't be so hard on yourself for getting tired and needing quiet hours/days. It is also very draining to be psychic/empathic and be in a workplace where you are absorbing lots of negativity and giving your own energy too freely. Good psychic protection systems can help you conserve your own energy more effectively. I really could go on about that subject at length sometime, if you are interested.

    And, like you said, if you have the time, you don't have the money and vice versa. These days I'm more rich in time than money, but I think that works better for me.

    Love & Blessings.

  4. I would love to hear more about psychic protection. I know some but somehow I haven't managed to piece enough of it together to get it really working for me...