Today I decided to sort out my craft materials and the area I use. Accumulating papers and paints had altered the balance of my stacking draw units. Some draws overflowed and others were not well used. Stuff was overflowing off my table. I needed some room!
I guess it might seem odd that I have so much craft material. I mean I am after all a science geek only recently come to their creativity who works in a warehouse. Have I bought all this since starting soul journaling a few weeks back? Or did I already have it all there, sitting, waiting the day it might be used...
I have decided to share a painful piece of my recent past.
A while back, i decided to train as a Primary school Teacher. I desperately wanted to show little children all the fun and wonderful things in the world. I wanted to make them love learning. I wanted them to see the fun in science, the wonder in the world, the elegance of math.
I knew it would be a hard course and I was prepared. I worked and I worked and I worked. but I didn't make it. It wasn't my work, it was my personality. I loved the kids and they loved me. I had great ideas and sometimes I could teach them well. The problem was I am too laid back to stay on top of classroom discipline. I am not charismatic enough to lead a class of children. I can manage well enough but leading is another thing entirely and I just don't have it.
This didn't become clear until relatively near the end. It just wasn't going to happen. To do it, I would have to completely alter who i was and I couldn't do that, I mostly like who I am.
We had college classes on each subject area. This included art where we drew objects with oil pastels, experimented with pencil lines and made papier mache masks. In design and technology we looked at mechanisms in paper such as hinges, sliders and levers as well as textiles. In english we used animation to tell stories and looked at childrens books and poetry.
Trainee teachers can use the resources of the schools they are in for their lessons but in practice they end up buying a lot of things themselves in most schools. Or at least I did. By the end of the year I had bought (invested) in quite a lot of stuff. Things I thought I would make use of in my professional career.
I guess the course opened something in me. I understand children much, much better and would love to be a Mother. It also bought me back to subjects I left behind long ago such as Art and English. It also left me with all sorts of things I wouldn't have normally bought... sequins and fluffy balls, films and glitter, pipe cleaners and scoobies, chalks and pens, acrylics and brushes... I could go on.... It's amazing how much you can pick up cheaply when you have a bursary and are looking in the right places....
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