So I said I would give it a week and a week it has been. I am in a very different place to the one I was in this time last week. So much has happened, not all to me, but most of it bad. I think having believes about death that include things going on in another form and not ending or going to some nasty little hell really helps...
For me, settling and getting enough sleep has been the hardest thing. I have been sleeping lightly this week. Part of this has been me listening out for signs of Little Dog being unsettled. Of course my letting her up on the bed int he night has only encouraged her to be up and about at night!
I had one day off work to catch up on sleep and because all the stress had settled in my stomach. Work.... *sigh* One persons relationship took a tumultous turn and they broke up briefly. Another person found out that his partner of many, many years was leaving them without giving any answers as to their plans, or why, or what would be happening to their near teenager.
This all made my sorrow seem insignificant in the big scheme of things. My relationship with Big Dog was good and honest and I did all I could. I have no regrets. I loved him with all my heart and he knew it. I do not have the power to take away cancer. My grief was a good clean, honest thing.
Of course there is someone I haven't talked about... Little Dog. Little Dog has suddenly altered from a tiny terror to being very cute and lovely and well-behaved. I am sure part of this is grief and as the week has progresses she has begun to bark at passersby a little and is more enthusiastic again. I do wonder if part of her behaviour was Big Dog's bad example.
Earlier today F was out with her when a lady spoke to him who he had never seen before. And what she said was, I wondered why we weren't barked at this morning, it's because she is out here instead. F has renamed Little Dog...
Now Big Dog and all his fear and aggression to strange dogs are gone, we are going to see if we can get her socialised properly. She has a tendency to be very excitable and dominant with other dogs. We have looked at a few greyhounds online and will get a new laid back male friend for her in a few weeks time. My Dad will keep an eye out for one who might be suitable for her...
My parents sent a beautiful card to me, with a lovely picture which is simply called sympathy card and can be bought here from Greyhound Rescue West of England.
Eleventh Blog Anniversary!
5 months ago