Time

I have just got caught up with my blogs but not my emails. As soon as you miss a blog session, you begin to realise how much you actually do.... Catching up has taken a bit of effort.

We had pork chops for tea and watched American History X which was very good. Didn't leave much time for anything else though and now it is nearly bed time and I have done little else. Oh I put some asfatedo (sp!) stuff in with the mushrooms so experiments have begun with the third herb / spice. We are still using the black onion seed but i didn't fall in love with fenugreek...

Today I felt icky. If the ladies at work are still pulling my hormones into synch then it is my pre-hormonal blip, worsened by the moon maybe. I didn't perk up until I got to leave. Maybe it was just because I was too hot... It has already cooled this evening and tomorrow is supposed to be much cooler, thankfully. I don't like it too hot and heat makes me want to have a siesta.

I still feel off at work. I don't feel part of the team so much and I don't know what to do or say sometimes that isn't going to be taken wrong and still enable me to get my job done well. I have a strong work ethic, I don't think this is always a good thing. *sigh*

I want..... something else...... I am beginning to understand that time really is a gift. Not time to do what others want but time to truly do what you want. I never appreciated it when I had it....

Happiness is Inversely Proportional to Wealth

I met with my three college mates tonight for another chat. It is a lesson on what constitutes happiness. As annoying as things may be in my life - I actually seem to be one of the happier ones... go figure... They all have more money though... *laugh*

Need to go do other things..... Like sleep!

Allergise

Last night I took half a hayfever tablet before bed. Not that my hayfever had really started properly, I just felt that tingle... Today I went to work and shortly after starting I felt my nose go. My eyes turned dry and itchy. I sneezed. My nose ran. But not as badly as it gets.

But I don't understand. Normally my pills keep the allergy symptoms away for several days, which is why I take half. This half pill lasted less than a day but my allergy flared up and then slowly throughout the day flared down.

In fact once I left work and truly breathed in fresh air my nose cleared completely. My head cleared and I began to feel much better and not like a complete zombie, just part zombie. This all makes me feel that there was something at work today that really didn't agree with me (apart form the obvious).

Was someone wearing perfume? Had someone used some cleaning products? Had one little freak bit of pollen that I am especially sensitive too managed to lodge itself in my nose? No idea

So tonight i just wish to do nothing. Completely drained. There are things I should be doing but I am not going to do them... F walked Little Dog before he went to work. It is to be a sofa and junk food night.....

The only good news is that i weighed myself on the way home and I have lost 1/2 stone.... oh and I have a small but always welcome tax rebate....

Last Week at Perranporth

Last week we went to Perranporth, nice and late so it was cooler for Little Dog. I took lots and lots of photos and here are some of my favourites....





This last one is as close as this blog will get to having a picture of S and F... I love this picture though. And that is the lovely Little Dog in the middle.

Stagnation

I have done nothing this weekend. In fact I haven't left the house since Friday when I took Little dog out in the evening. This week has taken it's toll on me and left me somewhat drained. I just didn't have the energy to contemplate doing anything very much at all.

I intended to go out and get some supplies yesterday, little bits I am lacking for creative projects... I wanted some green and brown embroidery silks, one of those rotary cutters which really help with cutting out fabric, some cotton for my baby blanket to be, (I started cutting but straightness was an issue....) as well as the odd other bit. But I didn't. I needed some more postcards for my postcrossing addiction as well... Oh well... Don't suppose I would get much of that doen this week anyway... i have other things I can do...

If I won the lottery, I would build a house that was open to the land. My granite terrace so often feels cut off from outside - necessary for maintaining privacy when you open onto the road. I would also hire a tai chi instructor to turn up at my house each morning until I could do the forms alone. I really need something to get my energy flowing properly.... That is how I feel this weekend - stagnant. In oh so many ways.....

I made jewelery today but it was only completing previously thought up designs. I have had no creative urges. I have a half formed scarf design in my head but no impetus to put it on paper and work it out.

I took all weekend to print of the application form for care work and I have only filled in half. It is a terrifyingly large step. A completely different type of work for me, one I have never, ever done and wouldn't have considered before.

My house is still a mess and I had plans along those lines as well....

Another odd thing is that although my e-life has saved me in so many ways, sometimes it holds me back to. Yesterday I was online all day and really accomplished very little that I wouldn't normally accomplish in two much shorter sessions on a working day. Well apart from reading blogs from start to finish for thinking up interview questions....

I need to be strict with myself with my e-life. As much as it helps me, it can also be a comfort blanket and keep me from doing things too.... Under my comfort blanket i can stagnant without ever realising.... I think it is time to move on, not away from all the things in my e-life, but to try and alter how my life fits together a little....