Sleeping Beauty

last night I had the perfect nights sleep.

The two nights previous I had been without F and I was cold in the night and didn't sleep so well. Little Dog did her best to keep me warm but well, there just isn't enough of her....

Last night I learnt and i got out my pink velour M & S pajamas. Bliss. I went to bed before F, which is fine. I get to sleep quicker without him. If he is there, I have to wait for him to be asleep and making his sleeping breathing sounds before I can sleep. Of course we don't always resist the temptation to chat either and right now maximising sleep is the name of the game.

So the night was warm and snug. And when i woke I had F to snuggle up to before we had to venture out of bed to the world of work....

Before Big Dog died, we only had the dogs up for cuddles, not to sleep but that all changed when Big Dog went to the big garden in the sky, the one that contains sofas and lots of warm snug places to sleep. At first Little Dog came up for that last snuggly quarter of an hour before we got up. Then sometimes, at the weekend we wouldn't get up at that time and she would come up anyway.

Over time she just got up onto the bed earlier and earlier until we could no longer pretend she wasn't sleeping with us. What put the nail in the coffin though was that she just couldn't understand the difference between the nights when F was working and those he wasn't.

At first it was awkward in some ways. You would wake up part way through the night and find dog where you needed to move your legs to, because you had cramp and just had to move. She has learnt though, exactly where to sleep in order not to get kicked or moved and all is rosy in and on our bed.

So tonight, I have to put up with the lack of F, but Little Dog will appear at some point after I have gone to sleep, probably as soon as I have gone to sleep. And i shall be snug and warm in pink velour. But last night was the perfect nights sleep.

Things that go BANG in the night

I am sat here as per normal with Little Dog lolling on my legs having a nice cuddle. What is different tonight though is that she has a little shake on. Apart from the shake she seem is fine. She will do this most nights now until after Guy Fawkes is over and done with.

To be honest I havn't heard or seen any fireworks yet. But she has far better ears than I do and the merest hint of that explosion boom and she knows it is that time of year again. Teenagers probably letting them off somewhere.

I remember as a kid that Haloween and Guy Fawkes were separate. Guy Fawkes was the biggy and everyone went to their local display. We went up to the village and ate sausages and burgers in buns with hot onions and tomato ketchup. No pinky hot dogs back then. We had to wear hats, gloves and scarf as it was cold. Before and after the display you socialised with the other village folk and of course you knew plenty of them. Everybody was there.

When you were cold you took a spot near the bonfire and a rope held up by pegs kept everyone at the proper distance. On top of the bonfire would go the guy. I seem to rememebr competitions to see who could design the best Guy with prizes and all. They all went up in flames though.

Now it seems as if everyone has a display, although so far this year seems far far quieter than any recent year, thankfully. I remember when I first got Big Dog they started as soon as it got dark and just went on and on. Walking him on my return from work was a fraught affair. How did mothers with babies ever get them to sleep either.

There is another side to fireworks of course. Pollution. Dust and smoke containing heavy metals are released into the air. Of course people claim that this pollution is small compared to other sources like fossil fuels, but surely fireworks are an easy extravagance to be rid of? Can't we go back to each town having it's one display? Then there is the light pollution, what effect does that have on nocturnal insects and animals?

I am not saying ban them, just all things in moderation. A time and a place for all things. the 5th of November should be it, in nice professional displays to ensure safety and that everyone knows when and where to be.

While writing this Little Dog has gone back to sleep and now the only movement is the flick of paws and ears as she dreams.

Snuggling Habits of Small Dogs

Not sure what to post about today....

I did have an idea the other day and so that will do...

The Snuggling habits of small dogs...

Little Dog likes to be warm and she likes to sleep, inbetween barking and eating that is. She sometimes curls up in a little ball and sometimes she likes to stretch out. When I sit on the sofa, I like to sit with my legs up and she likes to lie between my legs keeping warm. She will use my leg as a head rest and then go to sleep. Her eyes do odd things at this point.

At night, when F is working, she appears on the bed at some point in the night. She lies close alongside me and hooks her foot over my ankles. Everytime I move she moves too and resnuggles. When I wake she does too but it takes a while for her to wake up properly. So I give her some fuss, and some more. At some point she wakes up fully and all of a sudden she flips and all four paws are in the air. Time for stomach stroking. When I get up she lies perfectly still and watches me intently. As I move towards the door she suddenly moves and beats me to the door.

Hmmm... When I wrote it in my head the other day, it sounded much cuter and funnier. Just much better... Oh well... I have nothing else to write about tonight.

Things

So many things seem to be happening right now. So many things seem to be about to start. So very much a time of change.

The weather has suddenly decided to go all summery. Beautiful clear skies. Air so fresh it tastes sweet. A beautiful gentle warmth cooled by sea breezes. Lovely. And I like it even more because it isn't Summer. There is a slight nip to the air at times that lets you know this Autumn. The night is lasting longer and longer. This is September at it's best.

The last few days I have been stuck in work of a day and to busy of an evening to make it to the beach. So I promised Little Dog we would go first thing today. And we did. 8 am found us stepping onto Perranporth Beach with a fairly low tide giving huge expanses of golden fluffy sand. And I do really mean fluffy because the beach cleaning tractor was there sifting sand for trash and laying it back like a fluffy powdery stuff.

Little Dog was pretty good and I got a better balance today between her desire to chase after the ball and her need to not run herself ragged. As we left the beach it was just beginning to get warm enough to make running risky for her. She cooled off in the stream before we headed back to the car.

A good start to the day. I then spoke to my Mum and discovered she is also trying to lose weight right now for her diabetes. She has decided to give herself a treat with every half stone. She is going to buy a troll bracelet with her first milestone and a troll bead or charm for it every one after that. We are going to do this together now because it is such a lovely idea. By the time I am thin I should have a beautiful collection of beads that I would have trouble justifying normally.

The diet is going OK. I have planned the meals for the rest of this week now which seemed to take ages. It doesn't feel easy yet. Last nights tea was a glitch though.... Now I just have to make myself cook it all and stick to it. I need to make myself go out shopping really... I left lunch to late and let myself get hungry. This is something I do and then I go and get all the wrong foods....

The new TV has arrived but I can not unpack it until F gets back. It is our first real big purchase of something new together and as such we will enjoy it's first moments together. I would love to be able to watch it tonight though... Oh well....

Work has gone a little odd in some ways but in others it is fine.

Jewellery making is now progressing at a snail's pace. I am making a bracelet for my Aunt (thankfully she has tiny wrists) using tiny delica beads sewn into tiny squares and then sewn together. The way it sits is a bit like an egg box sort of a shape. F's Mum's necklace has ground to a halt because I ran out of beads. My sister's earrings have swelled in number to three sets but I got bored of earrings and stopped for a bit. My Mum's bracelet is done. This just leaves my Neice, who isn't turning gothy after all. Of course this is only the first round - they all need birthday and Christmas presents....

On other crafting - I need to do some silk painting and some sewing (eek) and some how neither seem to be getting started. It is just a question of making myself get started really... *sigh*

Some major decluttering has been accomplished while I was safely out of the way at work. F has removed a wardrobe and now I can actually see all of the width of the window from the bed. The room seems so much brighter suddenly!

I think I am putting off going shopping....

Courage of a Different Dog

I know this might seem a bit of an odd post - a little delayed maybe, but... Here it is...

I was talking to a friend about her dog, about how he was 17 and despite spinal damage which means he can not use his hind legs, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. After a little spate of ill health, he recovered fantastically with still, nothing wrong. Everyone was astounded. My friend was worried that she was being selfish keeping him alive but the vet was adamant, he doesn't have the look in his eyes that says he wants to go. This dog wants to live and is happy.

I guess every long time pet owner knows that look. I myself have seen it before. Let me go, the world is nasty, it hurts, it isn't going to get better, it is my time, please.... One of my beloved Amber's pups gave me that look after a short and vicious illness that would have killed him in a short space of time anyway but with a lot of pain....

This all made me think, with horror, my beautiful Big Dog didn't have that look. He was a dog that still wanted to live, that still loved me so much that I was the most important thing, whose pain was not so great as to deter him from the truly important things....

like...

getting up the stairs to be with me with a broken leg.

like howling and caterwauling to summon me to him when I returned home and grinning like mad...

like trying to dart into the kitchen for food as I forced him out the door to the go to the Vet's...

like trying so hard not to go through the door of the Vet's that I had to bodily force him through...

like cuddling me on the floor as I waited for the sedative to knock him over...

I know on one hand I should be pleased, there was no choice given by the Vet really, his prognosis was awful and his pain considerable. But the realisation that he wasn't ready is horrible. Realising all this makes me realise that if the tumour had been in a better place and amputation was an option, it would have been a good one to take, even if it had only been a few days before he got that look.

I guess the other thing is that it makes me realise is the huge spirit and personality of this dog and the absolutely ginormous love he had for me. He had been hideously abused before I had him and was covered in scars with several old breaks and a brand mark made with cigarettes of an M on his side. He was terrified when I got him. He grew to love and to trust others again. He loved life and he absolutely adored me. I was the best thing since sliced bread and possibly before it to - but maybe equal to steak....

An illness and level of pain that would have most dogs knocking at that door and howling to be let out and he was there, full of personality and fight and love. He may have in many ways been a slightly challenging dog (he had a pathological hate of most other dogs....) but my word he was one helluva character.

So I guess I know I did the right thing but would Big Dog have said the same if he could talk. I think his thoughts would have been that whatever I wanted was just fine by him. And that thought makes me cry.

Detritus

Today has been a quiet day of bits and bobs. F has pretty much worked all weekend, except Friday evening, Saturday evening and Saturday night. I shall get to see him tomorrow as I go to bed...

Part of me knows I should take Little Dog for a walk but I am a bit wary right now. On Friday S and I took her for a run and we threw that ball a fair bit. It seems though that she doesn't know when to stop as she got way too overheated. When we got back she seemed fine at first but began to get a bit wobbly. I had to put her in the shower and hose her down and she quickly recovered. In the future I will have a really good reason to be stern with S about running her too much....

It has been a warm sort of a day although not as hot as last week and I obviously can't take her out midday or in the afternoon.... Do I want to take her out now? Can I get myself out of the house? Not sure. Will update tomorrow *laugh*

So I caught up on my postcrossing. I had a load of cards to scan that I had received and a load of cards to send out and scan. Then I wrote those letters to my Aunt, Sister and Mother to go with their jewellery and packaged them all up. I also spoke to my Mum and Dad and sorted my Great Aunt's birthday card. Then there were the orange swap cards to package up... Most of this stuff won't be sent till next weekend because it needs weighing.

I also have so many things that I am waiting to get where they are supposed to go... A present for a friend, the card to Belarus which hasn't arrived after 38 days (I am sending a second hoping this one makes it), my ATC swap cards from the True North Mandala swap (I so want to see them!), The Chalres de Lint books which were despatched Friday and the two Keri Smith books (missus WTJ) that were despatched today and then of course WTJ itself...

I ordered WTJ from Amazon initially but had several other long order books in the same order. The despatch date was 18th June. When I realised this I split the order down but it was too late - they had sold out and needed to reorder. I waited and waited and hoped they would give me a nice update on my despatch date, but no. I hunted for it in Truro yesterday and Waterstones informed me thatthey had had it on order since April and it was not in stock at their wholesalers either.... Hearing this I realised Amazon wasn't going to come up with the goods and went for an Amazon marketplace copy which should be here for next weekend - and cost less - and is still a pristine new copy (I hope). Getting this book has so far been a saga and it isn't over yet...

I have so many projects to start and get stuck into but it is so easy to forget how long even the simplest bits take - like packaging and writing notes to go with things. Sometimes I try to pack too much in and other times I mess about, wasting time, doing what I could do in half an hour in two.... I also have a huge pile of books to get read and this latest lot of ordering isn't going to help with that!

Truth to tell I am stuck on my current book - Paulo Coelho's Winner Stands Alone. I am not liking any of the characters and I am not feeling the plot. It is darker than previous books I think and by going darker, I am finding him less inspiring and uplifting. I read the book and I feel tired and that is so unlike me. I will get to the end because I trust this author to have a point to all of it....

It is a nice evening, I think it would do me and the Little one good to get out before bed. I know she is missing F as well...

Last Week at Perranporth

Last week we went to Perranporth, nice and late so it was cooler for Little Dog. I took lots and lots of photos and here are some of my favourites....





This last one is as close as this blog will get to having a picture of S and F... I love this picture though. And that is the lovely Little Dog in the middle.

Today was a beautiful day. It was hot, the sun was shining and the sky was blue.

We had S and F cooked a lovely roast. We wanted to take Little Dog out but I didn't want to take her out and make her run in the afternoon unless it was windy or there was some water for her to wade in. She has a fluffy coat and the way she runs and pants.... When that ball is thrown she has to go after it at full pelt and S just can't stop himself from throwing it...

I looked up beaches that you can take dogs to. Many beaches in Cornwall have dog bans operating from Easter till October. I can understand why, the tourists don't want to get jumped on by sandy dogs or sit in dog mess. There are some beaches that don't have bans though and a nice little website told me which ones.

We decided to go to Perranporth which is a town at one end of a lovely big sandy bay. A river flows from the town onto the sands. The beach is sort of an L shape with the town at the end of the short arm. The long arm is backed by cliffs and gets cut off from the town when the tide is high. We looked up the tide as and it was hight tide at about 5pm. We decided to have our roast first. With the weather and a smaller available area, the beach would have been very, very crowded.

We headed out quite late. There were few surfers left and no bathers or sun seekers. The sun was low and casting long shadows. It was beautifully clear, with no clouds on the horizon. We actually got to watch the sun sink into the sea.

Little Dog and S rampaged around, playing ball. The only problem with Little Dog somewhere like this is she is so quick, she can be off with another dog in the blink of an eye. She has a longer range than most dogs! The greyhound in her shines through. Big Dog was even faster.... She was pretty good though....

It was a beautiful, stunning evening and the beach was lovely. How could anything be bad when you are somewhere like this.

We strolled gently back up the beach to the car after the sun had gone down. Unexpectedly, we bumped into someone we knew who works as a lifeguard here. Someone nearly died on the beach today. A holiday maker was taken from the water and resuscitated. Remarkably he was fine!

Danger is never far, no matter where you are. This beach has rip tides. The lifeguards sometimes have to move the swimming area. Sometimes things go wrong, despite all precautions being taken. You can't live your life in cotton wool though, you might be allergic to it!

Happiness is a Tired Dog

Today I finally finished a few things to send out and was planning to go to the Post Office with F when he got in and stop at a mates place to drop in some books. F however suddenly found out he needed to stay at work an hour longer. So I went by myself. Well, i was going to... But the Little One was looking at me funny...

She wouldn't let me drive home after either... she made me go to big hill and let her out.... Nasty Dog!

The sun was shining, the sky was blue, little fluffy clouds drifted across and a nice breeze was blowing off the sea. We walked along the top of the hill and sat on top of a stack of granite. Little Dog is quite a good climber. Anywhere I am capable of heaving my bulk, is somewhere she can get with ease and at twice the speed. There was a definite line between sea and sky today and the view was excellent.

I love it up there. It looks so open and you feel as if you can see everywhere and that there are no features on top. But there are. Old hut circles nestled in gorse. An old quarry that has been flooded. An boggy pool with low willow trees and Juncus (a spiky bog grass). A granite bench with an inscription.

As we circled back to the car, I unlocked the door and then realised Little Dog had spotted something and wasn't about to jump in. Down the path came a lady with a Jack Russell and the two dogs raced to meet each other. They started to play and Little Dog pushed the Jack Russell over. Slightly worried I grabbed Little Dog but the Jack Russell kept running round her yipping.

The nice smiley lady informed me they were excited yips not scared yips so I let little Dog go. They ran round and round with a bit of rough and tumble. Not just Little Dog doing the tumbling either. The jack looked like she was trying to jump on Little Dog's back at one point! They had a whale of a time.

Eventually the lady went to leave but the two dogs didn't want to part. They would race backwards and forwards between us, even after the lady and I could no longer see each other. Eventually a tire but happy Little Dog got in the car and collapsed. Then when we got home she collapsed some more.

It is one thing I love about hounds: you can walk them for hours and they don't break a sweat or get tired but get them to run full pelt and after ten minutes they are worn out. Take Little Dog out with a ball for 15 mins and you have a very quiet evening ahead of you... Happiness is a snoozing snuggly hound....

Things...

We took Little Dog and S out for a touch of cavorting today. S and Little Dog were as normal a little duo act. I managed to lose my ball on a string in some brambles with a very bad throw. We discovered hide and seek. S hid and Little Dog did the seeking - it was most amusing....

Little Dog is learning manners a little. She was being a bit pushy with a dog, got growled at and backed right off. Another dog she wanted to play with had nervy owners. It was a big dog with a halti. It didn't seem aggressive and I just got the feeling, being a new convert to trusting my dog, that maybe they should trust theirs a little.... They would all probably enjoy it all a little more... i know we do now...

I did some crafting this morning but am a loooong way off having anything interesting to show. I have some ideas bouncing around inside my head though... For when I have a moment... Which will actually be quite soon as I have booked a week off, starting this Friday evening. It will be F's first week in his new job that week too and he will be doing a lot of evening shifts so I will actually get to see him to. I am going to really miss him and having him work shifts is going to take some getting used to.... It isn't that I will be lonely but that I will be lonely for him...

I experimented further with black onion seed tonight - i cooked up some garlic and onion with it then added some boiled potato, then some spinach on top so it wilted in and finally some toasted pine nuts... Yum... It went very well with the sweet chilli marinated salmon we had. S had to try a spoon full and on doing so he stated that the spinach wasn't as bad as he thought - not that he wanted any more... *laugh*

I need a bit of time to catch up on projects and things.... My jewellery pile has gotten higher and I still don't want to get back to making any... I have three necklaces and two pairs of earrings to make - most of which won't actually take to long... I reckon a good day and I could knock out most of them (I hope).

I would also like to get down to some letter writing and message in bottles that week too....

I have also realised a slight difficulty with my 101 things list - walsking Little Dog in three beautiful places each week... Walking around the block doesn't count. Beautiful places require the car.... Neither of us like the rain... Beautiful places aren't we go on rainy days... It rains a lot in Cornwall... On top of this, I am behind from when she was ill and had to be kept at home. I also have to decide whether it counts if F takes her somewhere nice while I am at work....

Thing is Little Dog can only take so much of this walking milarkey. Off the lead she just keeps running, backwards and forwards, in circles, after a ball, whatever, just at speed. She has some of the greyhound speed and some of the collie stamina so she keeps going longer than a greyhound would but half an hour of running and she sleeps the rest of the day. She collapsed when we got home and once I became available she managed to move a little in order to collapse on my leg....

I suspect that if I stick with my intention, this will be a hard target to meet... Without killing my dog with exercise....

Clocking off for the night.....

I don't want to write a full post tonight. I am tired, happy and relaxed. Little dog and I went out, with her off the lead. She approached a number of dogs but was pretty good and didn't get herself growled at once, although none of them really wanted to play with her....

Now I am going to talk to F, who has just gotten home from work *grin*....

A Chance Encounter

Tonight I took the evil and menacing Little Dog out for a walk. I am always nervous taking her out. Big Dog was awful with other dogs and caused me to get bitten. Little Dog once took a chunk out of one of paren'ts dogs side, a big chunk. She likes to be the boss and I think some of my Dad's dogs didn't like her running for the role of pack leader and gave her some stick...

So tonight, I am walking along the path and I see some people with a loose pack coming towards me. I wasn't feeling courageous so I turned back and circled the car park, intending to come back up the other side. Only I met the group coming. As I turned to escape I found a man coming over the bank with another large loose pack.

He informed me his would be fine and I said I wasn't sure about mine. Moments later I found myself surrounded by dogs as the chap and the ladies obviously knew each other and decided to chat. I didn't really dare move. Little Dog was mostly good although she did intimidate the puppy.

The first pack moved off leaving me with the man and his collection of Jack Russells and a Spaniel. We got talking and it turned out he was a gamekeeper and dog trainer. He persuaded me to trust Little Dog and let her off. He was right. She had a whale of a time.

She did get growled at when she pushed it and she listened and backed off. I was surprised how good she was with such little dogs. She would run from one to the other and back again.

Now belonging to a gamekeeper these dogs were experienced hunters of rabbits. Little Dog hasn't really learnt the joys of hunting. The combined pack was rootling around in a area of gorse but not having much luck. One saw a rabbit in a patch and it and Little Dog went after it. Little Dog had an instinct for working with Terriers which impressed the man and surprised me. Not that they got anywhere near it mind.

It was lovely to see her being so well behaved. We needed to meet someone who had experience with dogs and was confident enough to allow us to experiment with Little Dog. He was very complementary of her and said we should join a Lurcher Club and show her and race her too (informal stuff for fun).

I came home with a warm glow and the believe that i can have more fun out and about with Little Dog (although we need to work on her coming when she is called a little....). Little Dog seems happy, but it is a little difficult to tell... There isn't much movement!

Dream Dogs

Sometime ago I had a dream, it went like this:

"I was in Russia (no idea) and I was staying with a friend (nameless, faceless). I needed to travel to their house by myself but I had two very large dogs with me. They are not the dogs I currently own but I obviously considered them family as well as protection. I needed those dogs for that journey. On the way however I got stopped by an officious high level officer. he wanted my dogs and I knew that the consequences of not giving him the dogs might be severe. I didn't want to lose them as they were family but also because I did not feel able to complete the journey without them. Sometimes in my dreams, once they really catch my interest I become more aware within them and can alter them. I sometimes replay different endings and try and find one I like from the point where I become aware. I am not sure if the following ending to the dream was created by me in a more aware state or not. I rang the friend and he suggested giving the officer a puppy from the two dogs. I have no idea if the officer accepted. I woke up. It seemed like a compromise but I was left with the suspicion that it wasn't enough..."

Following much discussion with various people, it seemed people agreed that these dogs were spirit guardians and my good friend Mel wrote this poem:

Guardians

Amber eyes mirror ancient memory
brindle coats streaked with alchemists gold
Fierce as forge fire beat their hearts
muscle and sinew wild as the wind-torn moor.

From the mists they come
torn howling from the deep of the wood
Savage breath clouds the night
Rage in those eyes, terror in those souls

At the edge of the forest she waits
daughter of the moon, child of earth and sky
In her hands she weaves for them, silver threads of moonlight
whispering the words of the Summons

Faster now, they run
Closer, sensing her near
Stronger she is, with every thread her power grows
until...
she steps into the wood to meet them.

In the shadows they circle
Tasting the air, white teeth gleaming in her light
Quiet, she stands, peace in her heart
Softly, she speaks the Binding.

And there, in the space between the worlds
she slips the weaving over ancient restful heads
And gentle now, they come to lie
at the feet of the Dreamer.

Things began to change for me though on March the 6th. My beloved Big Dog died, suddenly and unexpectedly. He had a nasty bone cancer that once it was identifiable, it was too late... The dream began to resonate in my head again, but for very different reasons. One of my guardians had been taken. For nasty officious officer, read Death. My dog had indeed been taken and there had been nothing I could do.

I might have remained in this viewpoint but for continuing synchronicity.... I saw a fantastic idea for a photo mosaic on Quinceberry's blog which I posted all about here. One of the questions that really stumped me was 'who is your celebrity crush?'. I don't really have crushes, I am a bit single minded in my affections and they are kinda pointed in the direction of F. I have many celebrities I admire for many different reasons. I could just as easily have picked David Bowie or Sean Connery as Heath Ledger. Why I picked Heath Ledger is an odd thing really, I am sure I admire him that much in the grand scheme of things (not up there with Bowie and Connery but still very much up there I guess).

I dutifully typed in his name and started scrolling through the first page of pictures that flickr returned. I was most bemused to find this picture.
In many ways it fits so perfectly and although on the surface it has nothing to do with Heath Ledger, I had to pick it.

Today I decided to have a really good look at it and look at what the artist had witten about it. It was inspired by a story in a book called The Bloody Chamber, which is now on my amazon wish list, and tells various fairy tales in darker style... This picture is based on a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood:

"A young witch is courted by a local nobleman, (and in the brilliant film version of the story he also gets her pregnant). He promises to marry her, but instead ditches her and gets engaged to a wealthy young heiress. On the day of the wedding, the witch decides to take her revenge, and, turning up at the reception, promptly turns the married couple and the entire wedding party into wolves – who race off into the forest."

So you throw all this in together and what do you get?

A witch has two magical dogs / wolves. She stands under the full moon and the stars, on the edge of a wood. She is pregnant, either literally or in a creative sense (I want kids and hope to get started on a family sometime in the next couple of years). The wolves are a result of her power and may or may not be the result of her transformation of less positive aspects of her life. I don't know how the story turns out, if the wolves liked her after she worked her magic, but my wolves are clearly friends, family and guardians. The picture also brings in the crow and lots of jewellery. I relate to members of the crow family, one of them has a link to F, another is apparently by Native American horoscope birth month and another has a special link to me as I use them to read omens. The jewellery looks strangely like offerings, or clooties, not to the witch but to the Goddess.

I think the dream had several levels, i think yes, it was some sort of warning about the loss of Big Dog. I also don't think I can ever lose these two souls linked to me. What do you make of all these strange rambings?

Notorious D.O.G.

So I said I would give it a week and a week it has been. I am in a very different place to the one I was in this time last week. So much has happened, not all to me, but most of it bad. I think having believes about death that include things going on in another form and not ending or going to some nasty little hell really helps...

For me, settling and getting enough sleep has been the hardest thing. I have been sleeping lightly this week. Part of this has been me listening out for signs of Little Dog being unsettled. Of course my letting her up on the bed int he night has only encouraged her to be up and about at night!

I had one day off work to catch up on sleep and because all the stress had settled in my stomach. Work.... *sigh* One persons relationship took a tumultous turn and they broke up briefly. Another person found out that his partner of many, many years was leaving them without giving any answers as to their plans, or why, or what would be happening to their near teenager.

This all made my sorrow seem insignificant in the big scheme of things. My relationship with Big Dog was good and honest and I did all I could. I have no regrets. I loved him with all my heart and he knew it. I do not have the power to take away cancer. My grief was a good clean, honest thing.

Of course there is someone I haven't talked about... Little Dog. Little Dog has suddenly altered from a tiny terror to being very cute and lovely and well-behaved. I am sure part of this is grief and as the week has progresses she has begun to bark at passersby a little and is more enthusiastic again. I do wonder if part of her behaviour was Big Dog's bad example.

Earlier today F was out with her when a lady spoke to him who he had never seen before. And what she said was, I wondered why we weren't barked at this morning, it's because she is out here instead. F has renamed Little Dog...

Now Big Dog and all his fear and aggression to strange dogs are gone, we are going to see if we can get her socialised properly. She has a tendency to be very excitable and dominant with other dogs. We have looked at a few greyhounds online and will get a new laid back male friend for her in a few weeks time. My Dad will keep an eye out for one who might be suitable for her...

My parents sent a beautiful card to me, with a lovely picture which is simply called sympathy card and can be bought here from Greyhound Rescue West of England.

A New Day

Last night I slept heavily until i heard Little Dog wandering around. I felt sorry for her and let her come up on the bed and there she stayed for the rest of the night. She has been terribly quiet today. Her favourite pastime is normally barking at any dogs passing the house. We took her for a walk earlier and her enjoyment was evident. Maybe we never noticed how quiet she really is because Big Dog was so loud.

Big Dog had a personality that filled the house. He had different noises for everything! You always knew how he felt and what he wanted. I wanted to share a little more of him with you as I am so thankful for the time I had him.

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Greyhounds often seem to have delicate digestive systems and the ability to pass the most noxious wind. Big Dog was no different. One memorable evening we had friends over and cooked a big gammon joint. One of our friends fed Big Dog some fatty bits. It became very apparent very quickly that he couldn't cope with them. The smell was truly awful and nobody stayed for very long once it started.

Even though he was on occasion a little whiffy, nobody else was allowed to be. If I dared to consider passing wind, he would get up off wherever he was lazing at the time and move away with a disgusted look on his face. On one memorable occasion he passed one so bad that he looked disgusted at himself and moved.

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Big Dog was very vocal with his greetings and everyone near our tends to know when we have pulled up. He would lead a canine chorus of howls and whines and barks at the top of his voice. Little Dog learnt well from him and joined in with her sopran howls and yips.

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When I first got him i warned my lodgers that he would probably nab any food left out so they should put everything away. One time my lodger left a pound of butter out and he ate it, foil wrapper and all. Her response was 'but I didn't think he would eat that!'. Oh how little she knows of hounds....

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In his younger days he used to have the odd funny five minutes and race around like a mad loony thing. One time he was doing this when all of a sudden he started howling as if he was dying. My lodgers sat there in horror with no idea what to do. I told them not to worry and started to massage his leg and he quickly stopped and acted as if nothing had happened... Many of the greyhounds I have known have been prone to cramp *grin*

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Big Dog had a habit for a while of stealing my shoes and taking them off to a bed somewhere. It got so he was trying to take my shoes off my feet as I walked through the door. This all came to an end the day he came up behind me as I was taking off my boots... Every so often I would shoes had migrated inexplicably though...

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My Mum commented earlier that when I told them I was taking a dog home and they met Big Dog for the first time, that she had thought I was completely barmy! She thought that this terrified, mangy looking dog would be very hard to rehabilitate and probably not worth the effort. She then said of all the dogs we had ever had he was up there with Amber who was the best greyhound of all time.... My folks has four rescue greyhounds at a time, there have been a few over the years, particularly if you have in short stay foster dogs...

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My Dad reminesced about the first time I left him with them when I had to go away on work before I met F. Big Dog was so upset he glued himself to my Dad. At night he was inconsolable and my Mum found herself being kicked out of her bedroom so my dog wouldn't have to sleep alone.

Big Dog used to share my bed before I met F. Once F came a long he happily moved onto a dog bed on the floor. However, if F vacated the bed, even for a second, Big Dog would be there. I normally go to bed before F as I seem to need much more sleep. Big Dog would be there with me.

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Big Dog was a grinning dog. For the uninitiated there are some dogs who are able to grin and it is quite common amongst greyounds. Big Dog grinned a lot. He grinned in greeting. He grinned in thanks when you gave him food. He grinned if you twitched your fingers at him.

He also nuzzled and snorted and hid his head playfully under his paws. If you weren't paying him enough attention he had learnt that a swift flick of the head under an elbow soon sorted that out. Unfortunately he never learnt not to do this when the hand attached to the elbow held a cup of tea.

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Although Big Dog was terrified of people when I got him, he was never, ever scared of children. He loved children and his patience was incredible. He would let children do whatever to him. S loved him from the start and has known him for half his life. Tomorrow we have to tell S. S has been saying recently that when he is older he is going to have a greyhound and a dalmatian.

My niece and nephew loved him to and loved to make him grin.

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This is not to say he didn't have a bad side. He was awful with other dogs, except greyhounds. He would act like he wanted to kill them and there I would be trying gamely to drag him away. My worst nightmare, when out with him, was owners who let their dogs off but couldn't control them. I could control my dog and move him away and I used to muzzle him but there is nothing so annoying as having people let their dogs follow you when you are trying to beat a hasty strategical retreat. One day he got me bitten, not badly but I did lose my faith in others control over their dogs.

One day we were on the beach when a very expensive looking dog with huge amounts of frizzy white hair came to investigate. Big Dog did his normal thing and the other dogs owner was some way away and his dog was ignoring him. When the white dog was finally removed I noticed that Big Dog had a long strand of beautiful white fur dangling from his teeth...

I suspect his early life involved dog fights. He certainly had enough scars and broken bones for it. He was probably only two by the time he was rescued. I was quite young when i got him and I used to feel very self-conscious walking this dog that had so obviously been abused in the not so distant past. Nobody ever assumed I treated him badly.

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He would have defended me against anything, right from the beginning. I used to sleep in a downstairs room and one night he woke me growling. I had only had him a couple of months, so I had no idea how unusual this was. The growl was low and menacing and meant trouble. I called his name but I could see from his silhouetted head that his head did not move at all from gazing at the window.

This contined for what seemed like some time. Every so often there would be another growl. Eventually i heard feet running from my window and jumping into a car which screeched off.

My house is a typical old Cornish terrace house which has a front door that opens onto the street. He has never ever done this since, despite drunks arguing outside our house and people sitting on our window ledges. I have no doubt that someone meant my house harm that night and he was determined to defend me. I wouldn't have argued with that growl. I have never heard that growl again.

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One night a friend of mine and I were walking home. Where we parted ways there was a seat and we would often sit there gossiping for a while. One night we were sat there when a man went past. He kept looking back at us and he turned down the road my friend had to use to go home. Suddenly the night felt dark, unfriendly and very, very dangerous.

We walked to my house and collected wonder dog himself to escort her home. We walked home happily and as I walked back alone, Big Dog had fun stalking cats out on the tiles. When I returned I discovered someone had ripped the wing mirror off my car. I hadn't been gone long.

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These are things I will remember. I am grateful that he did not suffer long and had no slow lingering illness but a swift sudden one that probably effected him very little till that last day. I looked up the odds for his type of cancer and I am utterly convinced that to have done anything different would have been cruel, particularly given the size and placement of it.

I have been wracking my brains to see if there were any signs at all that we might have picked up. Even in hindsight I can find nothing.

We will find a new companion for Little Dog, but not quite yet.

Knocking on Heavens Door

This morning started off just like any other day. The first issuing of the alarm summoned both Big Dog and Little Dog onto the bed for their morning cuddles. When I finally left that nice warm place, Big Dog accompanied me done the stairs. I noticed he was limping slightly but thought little of it. Greyhounds can be very wimpy dogs who cry as if they were dying with it all to be better two seconds later with a magic hand rub.

I let him out but as he came back in he tripped or slipped and he cried. He wouldn't stop for a while and touching seemed to make it worse. I carried him to the sofa, assuming that he had pulled a tendon or some such. I continued to get ready for work and went upstairs. He followed me up the stairs, falling over as he did so. Every stair a heart breaking effort. We stripped off our bed and helped him up and shut him in so Little Dog couldn't leap on him.

I was down all day at work but I fully expected to return home to find him all chirpy and bouncing around. He grinned at F when he returned and Little Dog snuggled up and gave him kisses in greeting. I returned a little later and his howls and whines let me know how desperate he was to get to me. but he couldn't.

Upstairs I realised that it was not just his leg troubling him but his shoulder to. It obviously hurt a lot and he didn't want to lift up his head. He was worse. Much worse. I hurridely took him to the Vet. Last thing on a Friday night.

Getting him off the bed and down the stairs was heart rending but I was consoled by the very spirited resistance he made to going through the Vet's front door. It took all of my strength to make him go in.

The Vet quickly became concerned and all the staff stayed late in order to X-ray his leg. He had a tumour which must have grown rapidly which had been pressing against his leg at the very top and weakened the bone. The fall had cracked his weakened bone.

We could have had his entire leg amputated but for such an aggressive cancer it seemed unlikely that this would save him. It seemed likely that it was already in his lungs due to the effect the opiates had on his breathing. He wouldn't have adjusted well to losing a leg for he was an old dog really.

I couldn't do it to him and he was never bought round. Even when sedated moving his leg made him cry. It seems these things can be very quick and virtually un-noticed. A human would have made a fuss but he never let on.

I love him dearly. He was the most devoted of dogs. No one will sleep with me when I go to bed before F. No one will grin at me when I return home. No one will get up with me in the mornings (Little Dog is very slow to wake up!). I will be able to move around the house without my loyal black ghost.

He had a helluva life. An ex-gypsy dog who was abused and dumped with multiple breaks, scars and a cigarette burn M on his side, he was a normal dog by the time he moved on. All signs of fear of men had retreated into the past. I already miss him so much. I returned home to find an inconsolable F and we clung to each other and cried together in the hall.

Rest in peace, beloved beast.

Darkest Hour of the Dog

I could talk about chains of events. About the little things that placed me on a road at the right time to see a minor accident. About the emergency services. How we were the only car to stop. How I am not at my best in strange situations and I don't always like how I come across. but I shan't, at least not today. Today I want to tell a different story.

One of the many greyhounds that has lived out it's life in my parents house, there was one who i remember with a rueful smile. She had the unusual markings known as brindle, seen in some breeds of dogs, but not others. She was a beautiful rich chestnut brown with black stripes. There was only one possible name for her really.... Tiger...

She had belonged to someone and lived in their house but once she was unable to race and proved to be infertile, she was of no use and was passed on for rehoming. She had obviously been us for hunting and she would alert me to the presence of prey when we were out walking. Her loud hunting call, similar but the not the same as a howl, must have startled many people within hearing distance....

I have to say i like a wilder dog to act as a companion on walks (not as wild as my current to deviant dogs unfortunately). One of my parents greyhounds was so well behaved when out walking that it was like walking a piece of rope... Tiger was fun.

One day i set off with her on a nice walk. We set out across the field opposite. Unfortunately the crops were near to harvest and had fallen over the path. We battled on through, aiming to follow the path to a small ancient wood, well away from roads. It was hard going and we had made it maybe two thirds of the way across when her lead became entangled. I had to undo her lead in order o be able to untangle us.

Being slightly lower down than me, she could see between the stalks. If I hadn't been untangling her, I might have noticed an intent look on her face. There was no hunting howl, she has no need, she was already free to hunt as my hands fought the crops. And she was gone. I couldn't follow through the crops or even see which way she had gone. Greyhounds can cover a lot of ground....

I looked for her before returning home. I had no car so called a Vet friend for advice. They joined me to hunt for her and drove up to the farm owner to see if they had seen her. No sign. We kept looking and then we found her.

On one of the edges of the huge field there is a small scrubby wood with a field entrance by it. Inside the entrance there was a large pile of dung, specifically pig dung for the owners of this land were pig farmers. She was looking very pleased with herself. She had obviously caught and eaten her prey and then celebrated by a nice long roll... in the dung pile.

She was no longer a stripey dog but a vile smelling brown dog. My friends didn't want her in their car so we walked on home and they went their happy way.

I bathed her in the garden. I scrubbed her brown and sticky skin back to silky stripes. I shampoo'd her and rinsed her. Still the rank odour lingered. I bathed her again and shampoo'd and rinsed. No matter what I did, the smell lingered...

Despite all the bathing, she still looked pleased with herself. My parents had a good laugh at my expense on their return. I think they felt the bathing had been punishment enough for temporarily misplacing one of their dogs.... Some of her odour had not surprisingly transferred itself to me...

Nice Things and Small Packages

My Mum always said that if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. So I am not going to tell you about the new temp who started today, who is probably very nice but very physical manly men with a dark and slightly predatory cast don't make me feel comfortable, even if I am not anywhere near their sights. I think it is more about me than about him. I also shan't tell you about the dream I had where I had a beautiful horse all my own and saw a weasel while out riding or about the rat I saw filching food dcraps from under cars at the supermarket.

So I am going to tell you about my favourite little package, and that's one of the nice things I call her...

Once upon a time, F had a job that required him to visit people at their homes. One day he went to a house and met a little dog and fell in love with it. It just so happened that this little dog was about to become homeless as the lady owner was going to have trouble looking after her shortly.

Now F had fallen very heavily for this little lady and knew he would have to plot mightily in order to bring his new love home. He started by making sure I knew how lovely she was and how fantastic a second dog would be for big dog as company.

Then he dropped the first bombshell: She was a collie greyhound cross. Now he knew there was no problem with the greyhound bit but he knew how I would feel about the Collie bit... I love Collies but they are such clever active dogs. I have come across collie greyhound crosses before and this particular mix can be troublesome depending on how exactly they mix... Greyhound speed and reflexes with collie brains and stamina? That's one hell of a combination...

Every so often F decides he wants something and he gets this glint in his eye. I know that no matter my opinions on the matter, it is best to grit my teeth and hold on tight... So I said yes. By this time Little Dog had been sent to a home and we had to have a homecheck. This was arranged for the Saturday morning while F was working and then when he finished at lunch we would go pick her up.

So the lady comes and does the homecheck and providing Big Dog likes her, Little Dog will be coming to live with us. At this point the lady drops in that little dog is seven months old. I contain my horror and mounting fear and bite back my screams. F can't have just forgotten to mention this...

Big Dog liked Little Dog immediately. This is unusual for Big Dog who seems to have a slightly pathological hatred towards most dogs. So Little Dog came home with us. And was very, very quiet, at least for the first day...

It later emerged from F that Little Dog had had five homes in her short seven months, including the breeder and the rescue home. It became obvious to me that the lady who owned her when F met her might have been using her life alterations as a polite fiction... Little Dog was a very different rescue dog from the terrified Big Dog. I knew how to build up such dogs. What I had no experience of, was how to take overbearing, excitable, dominant dogs like Little Dog down a peg or two.

There were many times when Little Dog found herself nearly moving to her seventh home. These were times when I would be in tears and at my wits end. Little Dog remains a very physical dog, what would be pain to most dogs is an invitation for a play fight to her. no polite tap on the nose or raised voice was ever going to convince her that she wasn't the leader of the pack.

We sought advice from anyone we spoke to. We read books on dog psychology. Eventually someone put us in touch with someone who sorts out troubled dogs for the RSPCA. His advice was to exclude her whenever she was behaving in ways unacceptable to our pack. Simple, clear and easy to follow advice. And do you know what? It worked. Although our doors didn't like the way they were treated much.

To cut a long story short, she is much older now. She is still horrid in many ways. She harasses anyone she doesn't like the look of or who has a dog that walks past our house. She regularly sends our cactuses tumbling to the floor. She is so enthusiastic in her greetings that she comes close to doing people a mischief. If you can catch her at these times, excluding works, but believe me she can move fast!

She has more good points than I can list here. She is an adorable companion. I love playing games with her and she knows exactly how rough she can be before she causes me pain and I get cross and stop playing. As soon as dark comes she transforms into super sleeping hound (which she is much of the day to but always with an ear cocked for an invader). She crawls onto my lap and transforms herself into a fluffy blanket. If I wish to move some part of her for a more comfortable fit, I simply lift that part and no other part moves, they just stay comfortably drapped where they are. Sometimes I let her sneak up on the bed and she can curl up in a small enough ball that, unlike Big Dog, she can get away with it.

She is in short a wonderfuly sweet and caring dog. Did I mention her good looks? Collie coat on smaller, slightly stockier hound frame with a strange corkscrew tail, oversized ears and a fluffy beard... Did I mention her incredible intelligence? Once a ball rolled under the Tv rack and everytime she went to touch the wires to get it, we said no. She stood and thought for a moment before pulling out the newspaper the ball was on, so that it came out inbetween the wires.

This will be her last home (unless we move house). Did I ever mention our two hounds are unique dogs no one else would have had the patience to cope with, who bring us endless rewards, while also being a little embarassing?

Missing Monty!

I found this on Sue's blog. I have heard of Monty. We listen to local radio at work and they have talked about him on the radio. It seems he has become rather nervous and runs away from anyone if he is approached. He also runs quite fast! There have been numerous sightings and he is getting to be in a bit of a poor way. I hope he is found soon as the areas he has been seen in are on the backbone of Cornwall, up on the cold and open moors which are now covered in snow.


Can you help find this missing dog named "Monty"? I was sent his picture by a viewer to Cornwall CAM, who told me there have been recent sightings in Carn Brea, Portreath & Porthtowan.
"Monty's owner, Mike Watson was visiting friends on 28th December in Carnkie, Wendron - he got to their front door and let 'Monty', his dog, off the lead to go into the house when there was a lot of shooting in the area. Monty was terrified and ran off. Mike has searched to no avail and has now had to return to Devon. Monty is a beautiful Grey Bearded Collie, nine years old and will be very frightened in an area he does not know and is unlikely to approach anyone. I am sure it is not necessary, but Mike has offered a 'substantial' reward for the return of his adored pet. He has also contacted all the usual places, vets, RSPCA, police etc. Can you help? Do you know anyone that has found a Bearded Collie?"
If you have any news, please telephone Su French on 01736 850763.

Big Dog

Well this week definitely has a dog theme. The current best advice regarding my dream dogs is to meditate on them before bed and make a prayer asking them to reveal their nature in my dreams. If they do all to the good, if they don't then chances are they are symbols... This may take a few days of work...

I have two dogs in my life right now. One is sat on a cushion by my side while the other is sat on my feet on the sofa. They are gently snoozing. K, Big dog is a greyhound and M,little dog is a collie cross greyhound. Both have an amazing ability to sleep. Even if I stay home all day, they sleep mostly.

Big dog is black with spreading grey and he came into my life eight years ago. I was a mature (but still rather young student). I had a house and lodgers to pay my way. My lodgers wanted me to get a dog and promised to walk and help with costs. I knew if I got a dog, it would be because I was ready to make a commitment to look after one all by myself.

I went to see my folks and they were involved in a charity greyhound event. At the end of the day one of the dogs taken there to be rehomed had not been found a home and was to be taken to a foster home. I went to see him. We looked at each other nervously and all i could think to say was "he'll do". I can imagine the foster people were probably thinking "oh my God" quietly to themselves. Luckily my family were known and so i was able to take him straight away despite any qualms.

He had been found with two other dogs. The others had had their ears chopped off without anathestic to remove all identifying tattoos. They were then left. K had at some point previously had his jaw broken, his tail and some ribs. He had many scars and bald patches including a very large bare patch on his side within which he had been burnt with cigarettes to make an M. I used to feel quite self conscious at first walking this obviously abused and nervous dog, particularly as I looked so young.

Not surprisingly he was a mess. If you uncrossed your legs, he was halfway across the room in a heartbeat. If you raised you voice, he wet himself. He had certain things he hated. One of my lodgers had a male friend that K liked, unless he wore his puffy body warmer. Men were more of an issue for him. Me being a student, living with other students was ideal for him. He was rarely alone and received lots of attention and fuss. If he was nervous he could run off to my room and hide on my bed.

Not surprisingly, K bonded very strongly with me. He will never really be an entirely normal dog but after all these years he could convince people he was. Although he adores F and S, it is me that he will always belong to. He follows me around and can not bare to be to far from me if he knows I am in the house. If a stranger comes in the house now, he is more than happy to approach them for fuss and attention.

He grins in greeting and he grins in thanks when you feed him or give him a treat. He sleeps on my bed whenever F is absent, even for half an hour. He is always pleased to see me. I could talk about his faults, but I shan't. Given his beginnings in life, it is incredible he doesn't have more.