The Crow

It is strange somehow how many little things take you back to another time, another place.

My niece wants to become a goth and I have offered to look out a few bits for her. One thing I know I have is a special poster, that I loved (and still do) so much.

I have been thinking of this film recently, remembering how I loved it but have only seen it once.... I am sure there was another reason I was thinking of it but I can't remember now, obviously I wasn't supposed to share it....

Then today, I found an ex of mine who is a film buff with an incredible brain and pretty much perfect recall and often puts quotes as his status update on facebook, put these few words 'it can't rain all the time'. Most of his quotes pass over my head but that one didn't.

And it takes me back in time. I had a beautiful boyfriend, my first love. Almost exactly the same height as me, he was lithe and trim and moved with cat like grace. The moves of someone who must have done some martial arts, a fighter, not to be underestimated. He was a biker type in his jeans and leather jacket and black silk shirt. Arms full of arty tattoos - apart from the spider...

I was a voluptuous goth girl, with long black hair, all fledgling woman with a body built for badness. In my maroon skirt with black tie dyed bits that was more than a full circle if you laid it out, my black cross over top, boots and leather jacket.

That night we had been to see the crow and it was fantastic. The only thing was i didn't want to leave. I had seen a group of people arrive just as it started who I didn't want to see. i hadn't really done anything wrong but it wouldn't matter how much I thought and felt that, it would not convince them.

Two of the girls were best friends and i was friends with one of them. The two girls had done something or another, stayed out with some boys they barely knew or something and a nasty piece of gossip was being put around it. The one I was friends with told me what had happened so I knew it wasn't true and thought nothing more of it.

A while later she comes in really upset having just heard the gossip. I admitted I had known and that was it. I had fallen foul of some rule of friendship no one had ever thought to tell me. Apparently I should have gone and told them the second i had heard it, not merely discounted it as false and put it to bed in my own mind. I don't think it helped that I wouldn't say who told me. It was actually the other girlss ex who she was good friends with.... *laugh* he offered to go put the record straight but I said no, there was no point, it wouldn't mend things.

That was that.

So back to the Crow. My first love got fed up of waiting and persuaded me to leave. It was one of the best things he could have done. The group were stood outside chatting and without saying a word or sparing them a glance, we walked on by. We looked so good, so in control, so capable. They couldn't touch us and they knew it. Together we were more than we were apart and they knew. They stopped talking and all eyes followed us. I felt a million dollars.

I must watch the crow again.

to say we looked good together was an understatement. At least that is the way I remember it.

The Crow is a dark film in the way it appears, the story, the music and of course the legend... Brandon Lee was killed during filming. Very appropriate in so many ways for right now. The two main characters are murdered the night before their wedding and the man comes back to avenge their deaths and to say good bye to the girl they took care of. Brandon died from a faulty blank in a gun used in the film which shattered his spine. He was soon to have been married shortly after. His father also died during filming and believed he had been given this knowledge in a premonition and that there was a curse.

Despite all this, the film is uplifting. The evil that caused their untimely death is beaten back and those that remain get to live as they deserve.

So in one fell swoop we have spoken of my first two loves and my most serious relationships before the lovely F. They both sit with fond rememberance in my heart. I guess that is another theme of right now, rememberance of the dead, both on samhain and on the 11th November for rememberance day when we remember those lost in war.

I think I need to watch this film again...

On Being a Mother and Trying to Get a Life

Ok, so I am not really a Mother... but I did give birth to something this week and like any first time Mum I am there constantly checking and tweaking and looking... Enough said... I need to let it grow by itself a little. I just hope it does grow. I hope it doesn't turn into a nasty teenager and remains a nice dutiful, kind sort of a being.

Time to leave it be and not obsess...

I did my first vision board Thursday and I love it but I shan't post it because I ruthlessly borrowed images and feel I shouldn't repost them. The thing that came through is the phrase the root of me with the question what is the root of me? It has a celtic circular pattern, a moon over water, a spiral stone staircase, a brightly coloured duo of person and child, a man looking at a tree and a fantastic and strange planty sorty of a lady.... I just need to finish the lettering and stick it up by my shrine.

Last night we went out to see District 9 which is very good but I would hesitate to recommend. It is a sci-fi movie with aliens and gore and action but it is also a strong statement about the morals of people and the society we live in. Many who would like the moral story wouldn't like the gore and vice versa. It is a film I hope they don't make a sequel to. We then ate some lovely food and came home to bed and Little Dog.

This morning I have promised myself a trip to St Ives for my Artist's Date. I want to go and buy some beads and some more glue. I also want to go to the Barbara Hepworth Garden. I don't know how famous Barbara Hepworth was around the world but she was a fantastic sculptress who lived in St Ives. The garden to her old home is beautiful. It may be small but her understanding of space and shape allowed her to transform it and of course, to fill it with sculptures that sit well in their surroundings..... I love it there...