Moon Whispers

What can I say?

I am not really ill any more. Not really well yet. Very soon I visit the Doctor and I am sure he will give me the all clear and then I shall be back. Chances are it will be pretty miserable. The days will be too long and will leave me drained. The weekends will be just enough to patch me together to go back for another long week.

And for what?

I don't do an important or worth while job. I don't help anyone and neither does my company. I don't do anything real, I just alter fictional numbers. I work pretty hard for a pretty low wage. This money mostly just goes to pay for me to live and to sort out finances. It doesn't get me anything I really want because what I really want feels so far beyond my reach.

My life is all about things that keep me from living, as are most peoples.

Things are not all bad though. We have a plan. Next Summer, thereabouts things will start to get better. Instead of sorting out old things, we might finally be able to start moving forward. It just all feels so far off. Seems to be taking so many years. Sometimes hope wears low. Particularly when you are put back by illness and don't want to go back to work. Would just much rather quit and never have to go back.

I really don't need my hormones leaching away at me right now. I guess at least I know that in a day or two balance will resume. How much our little feminine hormonal imbalances affect us! I guess the only question I have is when do we see clearest? The rest of the month or when the moon draws us close and whispers in our ear. Sweet lunacy?

Dusk

People are scared of the dark.

No really. They are.

People linger outside their homes, on hill tops, cliffs, anywhere with a view. They watch the sun set. The second it has been sucked below the horizon they vanish. They bustle off home as if the last rays of light leaving the sky will cause them to turn to stone and they must be behind closed doors before that happens....

Dusk is one of my favourite times of day.

The clouds turn charcoal grey, high in the sky. The sea turns the colour of slate. Hills in the middle distance turn inky black, the more distant they are, the less inky the black and the more gently they stand in the gloom. Flowers sprout across them, orange, white, yellow and red. Flowers that outcompete the stars and shine more brightly. They glisten.

It is still light enough to see the path. Walking slowly and steadily with care, rough paths don't pose a threat. The sun shines up from beneath the sea and paints the underside of the clouds. red, crimson, amethyst, dusky pinks. More beautiful than the sunset.

All those people leaving, miss this. They miss this gentle time. Caught in the inbetween. They run from the dark and miss the best of it.

I am not scared of the dark. I am sometimes a bit nervous of the people that hide in it. Tonight there is no moon. The moon won't rise until to late to be seen. And it is a new moon too. But walking under the full moon can be so well lit! Tonight it was always going to get dark but not as dark as people seem to think, nor as quickly.

A Month of the Moon

I said for a book I am doing that I would pay more attention to the moon for a month.... So this post is my documentation of the moon for a lunar month...

It was new on the 18th. I hadn't really been out at night so I didn't spot it until....

24th - The moon was a quarter sitting high in the sky as we came home from Fat Fighters. The sun had just set, turning the blue sky a whole range of colours and dusting the belly of the little powder puff clouds in the sky. Away from the sunset in the darker sky, the moon sat and watched all going on beneath it. The moon had risen, unseen at 2.08 pm so by 8pm it was pretty high. I think it would be lovely to watch a full moon rise one day...

I have just been looking online at the times of the lunar rise on full moons and it seems I will not see one this year because it is rising too early.... Maybe next year....

25th - It was there again as we drove out. Hanging half full in a clear sky that was still light. When we came to leave it had clouded over and the only sign of the moon was a glow in the clouds. The clouds stopped the light vanishing into space and yo could identify the towns, even those hidden by distant hills by the orange glows on the underside of clouds. It was very clear and we realised we could see all the way to Penzance and Mousehole.

26th - saw the moon half full in the day sky again. Forgot to look for it later (probably the red wine!)

30th - As I climb the stairs to go to bed I feel the light of the moon wash over me. We have a very big window at the top of our stairs making our landing one of the few bits that gets lots of lovely light, despite our huge sash windows as they point the wrong way... It was lovely and growing and I remembered I had seen it a night or two ago briefly. I couldn't see the face but the two children that the Scandinavians see were right there.

1st - We had to go for a drive but the moon was too high in the sky to do anything more than catch a glimpse of it. The face was clear tonight and as we drove the moon scudded between fluffy clouds, getting fuller and brighter. We got home and F grabbed his camera so we could go find a hill and photograph it. Typically the clouds decided to take that moment and hide it. The moon vanished with it's only trace some nice bright clouds.

10th - The moon has been hiding behind clouds this week. Last night I woke in the middle of the night and went downstairs to get a drink. On my way back up the stairs. I could see it shining. A perfect half. Then it vanished again. It came back but it's brightness varied a lot. Little clouds skidding by, sometimes just wisps, but sometimes more substansial.

This week the moon has slowly been rising closer and closer to the time I get up. Each morning I have seen it hanging in the dark sky outside my landing window as I get up to go to work. Each day it has become smaller and smaller. Friday I got up later and I could not find it. The sky was light, the moon shrunken to nearly nothing as well as the likelihood it might be hiding behind the large tree. Tomorrow morning the moon will be made new.

I like this cataloguing of the moons movements. The stopping to take time to seek her out.